


It Doesn't Feel Right

by GallifreyanFairytale



Series: Aromantic/Asexual fics [3]
Category: Disney - All Media Types, The Incredibles (2004)
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Asexual Violet Parr, Asexual Character, Bittersweet Ending, Gen, Hopeful Ending, LGBTQ Themes, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Karen "Voyd", Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Transphobia, Post-Canon, Queer Karen "Voyd", at all, this did not go the way i expected, violet's superhero name is ultraviolet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-10 01:57:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15281046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanFairytale/pseuds/GallifreyanFairytale
Summary: Voyd and Violet both needed a friend who would listen to them in a world where they will always be seen as less than.





	It Doesn't Feel Right

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a character study on Violet. I don't know what happened.
> 
> Also, I'm not entirely sure on Voyd's age because I looked and couldn't find anything, so I'm just assuming Voyd is 19-20 because in the movie, it seemed like she was younger than Elastigirl and older than Violet.

In order to clear her mind, Violet had begun to sneak out late at night to go to the roof of a nearby building. It was a ridiculously easy journey for someone who could turn invisible at will. As soon as she was safe on the roof, she allowed her mind to wander to the same person she had been thinking about for the past week, Tony Rydinger.  _Tony Rydinger._ She should have just allowed him to forget her and move on with his life. That would have made everything easier for both of them. But of course, she’d given into the pressure of her peers and the rest of the world instead and now she had a boyfriend she didn’t even--

 

“Something wrong?”

 

Violet jumped slightly as the voice pulled her from her thoughts. She looked up to see Voyd standing several feet away from her, the wind ruffling her hair slightly. Apparently Violet's secret hiding spot wasn't as secret as she'd thought. 

 

She shrugged in response.

 

Voyd stepped closer and sat down, leaving about a foot between her and Violet. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, as if she were cold, but Violet didn’t see her shivering. She looked down, and Violet looked away. She stared out at the stars, her eyes drawing invisible lines, tracing out constellations. Violet didn’t intend to speak up about her problems; she figured all responses would be some version of the same sentence. And she didn’t really want to hear it.

 

“Who makes your supersuits?” Voyd finalled asked. Violet looked at her, and she must have seemed confused because Voyd quickly added, “I’ve just noticed that they never seem to tear. Last time I stopped a mugging, I got a huge tear in my suit.”

 

“Oh, um.” Violet looked around, as if she would find a piece of paper and a pencil lying on the roof. Not that that would have really helped, considering she didn’t know Edna’s number off the top of her head. “I can get you her contact information, if you want. You can meet me here tomorrow?”

 

Voyd nodded. “Thank you.” She stood up and turned to leave, but stopped herself. She glanced back at Violet. “Will she… will she listen to my input on the design?”

 

Violet giggled quietly and shrugged. “It’s hard to be sure. If there’s a part of your suit that’s important to you, she’ll probably listen. If you want the color scheme to remain the same, or something like that. But she knows what she’s doing.”

 

“Alright,” Voyd replied, sounding a bit hesitant. “Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

Violet nodded, but she wasn’t focused on Voyd anymore. Her eyes were back on the stars, as if they could help her. As if anything could help her. She didn’t realize Voyd hadn’t left yet until she heard a soft, “Whatever’s troubling you… I hope you figure it out.”

 

Violet’s eyes stayed locked on the sky, but she whispered, “Thanks,” as Voyd turned and left.

 

\---

 

Voyd was already seated on the roof when Violet arrived, a business card in her hand. She held it out towards Voyd. “Tell her the Incredibles recommended her to you. She might act disinterested at first, but I promise she’s not. Making supersuits is pretty much her entire life.”

 

Voyd took the card from Violet and looked at it. “Thanks.”

 

Violet stood in place for a moment, trying to decide if she should sit or if she should just leave now that she’d given Voyd Edna’s business card. In the end, Violet felt herself sitting down next to Voyd. Maybe the night air would clear her thoughts a bit, or maybe she was just toying with the idea that Voyd would understand her, even if Violet had no real intention of telling her anything.

 

“Why were you up here yesterday?” Violet asked after several minutes of silence.

 

“Your brother mentioned that you liked to come up here to clear your mind when we were doing clean up a couple weeks ago,” Voyd explained. “I’ve been thinking about… a lot of things these past few days, so I decided I’d try to clear my mind.”

 

“Is it working?”

 

“I’m not quite sure.”

 

Violet pursed her lips. “It’s not entirely working for me anymore either,” she confessed. Neither one of them offered any more information, so the two continued to sit in silence. Maybe in another life, if Violet was a little less scared of her own feelings, she would tell Voyd more. But Violet was more scared of her feelings than any bad guy she’d ever had to face, so she stayed silent, and she looked up at the stars.

 

\---

 

Two weeks passed before Violet returned to the rooftop. She hadn’t seen Voyd since she’d given her the business card, but the past two weeks had been shockingly low on crime, so it wasn’t exactly surprising.

 

Violet was replaying the evening’s events in her mind, wincing when she remembered how she’d pulled away from Tony and then again when she remembered the look of hurt in his eyes. But Violet could bring herself to kiss him, she just _couldn’t_. Maybe there was something wrong with her, or maybe she just didn’t like Tony as much as she thought she did, but it didn’t really matter. She’d probably never be able to look him in the eye again and as long as she remained on the rooftop, she didn’t have to deal with the fact that she would see him again at school the following day and be forced to face the consequences of her reaction.

 

Incoherent whispering drew Violet from her thoughts. She wasn’t shocked to see Voyd looking at the ground, her mouth moving, forming words Violet couldn’t make out. But something about Voyd was different. Perhaps it was just the fact that she was wearing a new suit.

 

“Hey,” Violet said quietly, hoping she wouldn’t startly Voyd.

 

Voyd stopped muttering to herself and looked up at Violet. “Hi.”

 

“I like the new suit.”

 

Voyd looked down at the suit, as if she’d forgotten what she was wearing. “Thanks. Edna was really nice about it.” She sat down so her body was angled away from Violet. “I haven’t seen you up here since you gave me her card. Thanks again for that, by the way.”

 

“You’re welcome.” Violet drew her legs in towards her body. “I thought I was getting better, but then something happened, and--” Violet shook her head. “I don’t know what’s going on with me anymore.”

 

“I know how that feels.”

 

That was when it hit Violet what looked different about Voyd. She looked over again, double checking that she had seen correctly, and yes. Voyd’s chest was now much flatter than it had previously been. And Violet was fairly certain that wasn’t due to the new suit, because Edna had made hers, and it didn’t fit like that. So if it was the new suit, it had been a request from Voyd. But Violet didn’t know how to ask about it without sounding weird, so she didn’t say anything.

 

\---

 

It just so happened that Voyd showed up at the gas station at the same time as Violet and Dash. It was on their way home from school, and Violet and Dash had recently begun to walk home because it was easier on their parents. They reached the door at the same time as Voyd, but considering there was an armed robber inside, there was no time to say anything. The three rushed inside.

 

With the three of them there, it wasn’t hard to disarm the thief, but the restraining him part was the issue. In the end, Violet and Voyd each held on of his arms back while Dash and the cashier waited for the police. There hadn’t been anyone else in the gas station at the time.

 

As the thief was moved into a police car, the cameras began to show up. Dash and Violet could have easily left without notice, but they’d been told to make sure the news stories were always spun in the favor of Supers to avoid them being outlawed again.

 

Violet answered most of the questions, which were standard and practiced responses. Then, the cashier spoke. The three Supers were about ready to leave when one of the reporters mentioned Voyd’s new suit. Apparently it was the first time she’d worn it out in public aside from nights on the rooftop.

 

Voyd replied with a vague comment about how great the craftsmanship was. Violet noticed she looked rather eager to leave the conversation, but she wasn’t entirely sure what to do. The reporter nodded along to Voyd’s comment, but as soon as she was done speaking, his expression turned darker. “I can’t help but notice this new suit is…compressing y--”

 

“We really have to go,” Violet interjected. The reporter gave Violet a distasteful look, which Violet ignored. “I’m sorry, it’s really very important.” Violet hesitated only a moment before she grabbed Voyd’s arm and lead her away from the reporters and over to where Dash was enjoying a candy bar the cashier had given him. Violet grabbed Dash’s arm with her other hand and Dash bid a quick farewell to the cashier.

 

Once the three were away from the reporters, Voyd thanked Violet.

 

“Oh, it was no problem,” Violet assured her. “I could tell how uncomfortable you were.” Violet looked down at her feet and kicked a pebble across the grass. “The reporters can be a bit too nosy sometimes. If that ever happens again, you can just claim you have somewhere you need to be. That usually works.”

 

“Good advice.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“What was that guy saying to you anyway?” Dash asked, finally entering into the conversation. “I didn’t hear.”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Violet responded through clenched teeth. She really didn’t want to have to deal with Dash’s questions about what was happening with Voyd because Violet herself didn’t know. But Violet could respect Voyd’s choices and remain silent. Dash? Probably not so much. Thankfully, Dash didn’t push. He just shrugged.

 

“Whatever. What about that cashier, though? She was so great! She gave me a free candy bar!”

 

Violet rolled her eyes. “More sugar you clearly don’t need. Let’s just get home so we can tell Mom and Dad what happened before they see the news report.”

 

\---

 

“You’re probably wondering the same thing as that reporter today.”

 

Violet and Voyd had been sitting on the rooftop in silence for several minutes before Voyd spoke. Violet shrugged. She had been wondering, yes, but if Voyd didn’t really want to explain, then Violet wasn’t going to make her. “You don’t have to tell me.”

 

“So you did notice?”

 

Violet bit her tongue. She should have just said nothing. It was too late to take back her words now. She nodded slowly. “I didn’t want to pry, though.” Violet kept her eyes trained on the ground, watching the headlights of cars driving down the street below. She could feel her hair blowing in the breeze, and she was grateful that it wasn’t very strong. Long hair and strong winds weren’t a great mix.

 

“I guess I feel like I owe you an explanation, since you saved me from having to answer to the reporter.”

 

Violet shook her head. If Voyd opened up to Violet, Violet would probably feel like she had to open up to Voyd and that could be potentially disastrous. “It’s okay. If you don’t want to say anything, you don’t have to.”

 

“I…” Voyd’s voice faded away as quickly as it had started. “I kind of do. Want to tell you.”

 

“Okay.” Violet’s voice came out as hardly even a whisper, but Voyd must have heard it, because she continued speaking.

 

“I don’t like being a ‘she’,” Voyd admitted. “When I was little, I just kind of dealt with it, because I didn’t exactly have a choice. Or, I _thought_ I didn’t have a choice. I don’t know. I thought the feeling of not really being a girl would go away when I got older, but it still hasn’t. So when I went to Edna for a new suit, I… I asked her to make me one that would bind my chest. She gave me a weird look, but she did it anyways.”

 

Voyd’s words asked more questions than it answered in Violet’s mind. Violet was confused about several things, so she mulled over which question to ask first for a moment before settling on, “So… if you’re not a ‘she’... does that make you a ‘he’?” Violet thought she might recall hearing about people who wanted to identify as the gender opposite the one they had been born as, but she’d only ever heard of male and female. There weren’t any other options, were there?

 

But Voyd shook her - no, not _her_ , something else - head. “I did a lot of research, and the information was kinda hard to find, but I discovered that there are other people like me. People who don’t feel like they’re male _or_ female. Usually, we go by they/them pronouns. At least, to people who respect that.”

 

“Oh,” Violet said in a soft voice. “Okay.” She was still kind of confused. “Is it, like, a common thing to feel that way?”

 

“It’s more common than society wants you to believe. But most people don’t believe it’s real, or they think we’re sick or crazy. Or both.”

 

Violet wasn’t sure what to say other than, “Well I don’t think you’re sick or crazy.”

 

“You don’t?” Voyd seemed surprised at that, though Violet thought that was obvious. She hadn’t run away or laughed at them, and her confusion was only because she hadn’t heard about anything like what Voyd was describing before.

 

“No.” Violet hesitated before adding, “I think you’re brave. And I think people should be educated on this more, so if they feel like you, they can know they’re not alone. Do you want to be referred to as ‘they’ instead of ‘she’?”

 

Violet was pretty sure she already knew the answer before Voyd nodded. “But… not in front of reporters. I don’t need that kind of publicity.”

 

“Okay,” Violet agreed.

 

Voyd turned and looked at Violet. “You’re the first person I’ve told. Thanks for being so accepting.”

 

Violet didn’t know what to say. She was the first person Voyd had told? Why her? They were friends, but they weren’t exactly BFFs having sleepovers and braiding each other’s hair. Voyd was several years older than Violet, after all. “I… wow. Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me.”

 

Voyd offered Violet a half smile. “Yeah.” Voyd stood up. “See you around, Ultraviolet. Maybe.” Violet laughed quietly at Voyd’s joke as she watched them leave. Once they were gone, Violet was left alone with her thoughts. Maybe she’d tell Voyd about everything going on in her mind eventually, but tonight was not the night. Tonight had been Voyd’s night to talk to Violet, and Violet was grateful for that. It had shifted her thoughts away from her problems, even if only for a little while.

 

\---

 

You’d think the legalization of Supers would diminish the amount of crime, especially considering how many Supers had revealed themselves. It didn’t appear to be much of a deterrent, though, because it seemed there was always some issue to resolve. Thankfully, because of the new Supers, it wasn’t only up to the ‘Big Three’, as they had been dubbed, to solve everything all the time. The ‘Big Three’ Supers were Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, and Frozone. They were the three Supers who had been around before Supers were made illegal, survived the time they were illegal, and resumed their title once Supers were legal once again.

 

Despite the amount of Supers, there were times when it seemed the city needed all of them. Like now, for instance, as Violet held up a forcefield around herself and Frozone as a man dressed like a mime fired a laser gun at them. Why he was dressed like a mime, Violet had no idea, but there were more important matters to think about.

 

Elastigirl dropped down behind the mime, emerging from a wormhole that could only be courtesy of Voyd. This turned his attention away from Violet and Frozone, so Violet took down her forcefield. Frozone took off, pulling ice out of thin air to carry him away, and Violet vanished.

 

What happened next was a blur. The mime raised his gun, not at any Supers, but at a building. Violet’s eyes widened. She knew what he was doing, but she was too far away to stop it. She tried running towards him, to knock off his aim, but she was too slow. _Where was Dash?!_

 

He fired the gun twice, and everyone looked up at the building at bricks began to fall down towards the ground. Everyone except Violet. Once she had made it close enough, she created a forcefield around her, the mime, and her mother. She could only hope everyone else had gotten out of the way in time.

 

Once the dust settled, Violet heard the sound of police sirens. Her forcefield flickered out and she looked around. Her mom had the mime’s hands held behind his back, and she was moving him in the direction of the police sirens. She saw Dash zip past her, heading that direction as well.

 

“You alright?”

 

Violet looked up to see Frozone standing above her, offering her his hand. Violet took it and he helped her stand up. “Where--?” she couldn’t finish her question because the Incredibile pulled up next to them.

 

“Get in.” That was definitely Violet’s dad’s voice, which didn’t make sense. He always stayed for clean up. It was like he didn’t trust anyone else to talk to the reporters correctly.

 

Violet felt herself being pulled towards the car by Frozone, and he had to practically push her into the back seat because her mind was buzzing. If her dad was leaving so soon, that meant something was very, _very_ , wrong. But she’d seen her mom and Dash, which meant they were both fine. Frozone and Violet were both fine. Her dad sounded fine, so--

 

“Voyd!” Violet exclaimed when she saw the other Super in the back seat of the car. They had several bruises and cuts on their face, and they were holding their left arm close to their body in a way that made Violet think it might be fractured or broken.

 

Frozone shut the door after he had sat down in the passenger seat, and the car took off immediately. “We have to get her to the hospital to get that arm looked at,” Violet’s dad said. Violet bit her tongue to stop herself from correcting the pronoun her dad had used. Now was not the time, and she was fairly certain Voyd hadn’t told him. That was their decision to make, not hers.

 

“Then why’d you stop and pick Violet and I up?” Frozone asked. Violet was grateful he had asked so she didn’t have to.

 

“She was asking for Violet. You just happened to be there.”

 

Violet glanced over at Voyd. Their eyes were shut, and Violet wasn’t sure if they were unconscious or not. Why had they asked specifically for Violet?

 

“Didn’t know you and Voyd were such close friends,” Frozone commented.

 

Violet shrugged. She didn’t have a response that wouldn’t reveal Voyd’s secret, and the last thing she wanted to do was betray Voyd’s trust by repeating what they had told her on the rooftop before they were ready for anyone else to know.

 

\---

 

There was a wing of the hospital set aside for Supers, so they could be treated without their identities being revealed to anyone besides the doctors, who had sworn oaths of secrecy. Voyd had been taken back into one of the rooms so the doctors could examine them while Violet, her dad, and Frozone all waited.

 

It felt like hours before a nurse emerged from the room. “Ultraviolet?”

 

Violet stood up and walked towards the room, only half aware of what she was doing. She entered the room and heard the door shut behind her. Voyd half-smiled at Violet. They were dressed in a hospital gown and a bright green cast was on their left arm. Since they weren’t wearing their supersuit anymore, Violet could see that they had bruises on their arms as well.

 

The doctor looked over when he heard the door shut and he offered Violet a polite smile when he saw her. “Ultraviolet. May I talk to you privately?”

 

“I, um…” Violet looked at him, confused. Wasn’t she here to be with Voyd? And she didn’t even know what had happened to them yet. “What… what happened?”

 

“Her wrist is broken and she has a sprained ankle,” the doctor responded. “She’ll be okay, though we would like to keep her in the hospital overnight to be sure we haven’t overlooked anything. Follow me please.” He didn’t give Violet an option this time. He picked Voyd’s supersuit up and placed a hand against Violet’s back as he lead her to a different room, away from Voyd. Violet felt her heartbeat pick up, and she wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe there was something else wrong that the doctor didn’t want to mention in front of Voyd?

 

“I need you to take Voyd’s super suit to be repaired. She told me you were the only one she trusted with it.” The doctor held the suit out towards Violet, who took it carefully.

 

“Did it rip?” She asked. Edna’s suits were extremely resistant to tears, but it had happened before, so it wasn’t impossible that their suit had torn.

 

The doctor shook his head.

 

Violet raised an eyebrow and looked down at the suit in her hands. “Then what’s wrong with it?”

 

The doctor hesitated, which only confused Violet even further. Eventually he said, “It’s the… _binding_ in the chest area.”

 

Violet bit her lip. She had a funny feeling that the suit didn’t actually need fixed, but she needed to play along. “Is it harmful?” She feigned confusion. Of course, if it actually was hurting Voyd, Violet would have Edna change it. But Edna didn’t make suits that harmed the wearer in any way.

 

The doctor didn’t respond right away, which was really the only answer Violet needed. If Violet had been older, he probably would have told Violet the exact reason why he thought the suit needed fixed, but Violet was only fifteen and adults tended to think fifteen-year-olds were too young to know everything (or anything) about the world.

 

Violet saved the doctor from having to answer by plastering a fake smile on her face. “I’ll take it to get fixed.” She would take the suit to Edna, mostly so her dad could confirm that the suit had been taken there since he would be the one driving her, but she wasn’t going to let Edna ‘fix’ it unless Voyd told her that was what they wanted. “Can I go see Voyd now?”

 

“You may.”

 

Violet left the room as soon as the words were out of the doctor’s mouth and tried to walk at a normal pace back to Voyd’s room. Once there, she lay the suit down on the foot of the bed before sitting down in the chair next to it. “How are you feeling?”

 

“A bit better. The doctors gave me some medicine to ease the pain.”

 

“What happened?”

 

Voyd shrugged. “I was trying to save the people up in the building and I didn’t exactly save myself in time. I don’t remember it all exactly.” They waved their good hand vaguely. “It doesn’t matter much because all the civilians are safe. What did the doctor want with you?”

 

Violet could feel her face morph into a darker expression. “He wanted me to take your suit to get fixed.”

 

“Did it tear? I didn’t think it tore.”

 

Violet shook her head. “He…” Violet glanced around and lowered her voice, “he wanted me to have the binding taken out. You… you don’t actually want that, do you?”

 

Voyd looked away from Violet.

 

“Voyd?”

 

They shrugged.

 

“What did he say to you?”

 

They didn’t answer.

 

“Voyd.”

 

“It’s like I said,” they finally muttered. “People think I’m sick. That’s the only reason they want to keep me here overnight. And all I did was wear a suit that binds my chest.”

 

“I’m not going to let Edna take the binding out,” Violet promised. “Not unless that’s _really_ what you want, but I don’t think it is. Sometimes, people make you feel bad for being different, but we’re Supers. We’re meant to be different. So bind your chest, make people start calling you ‘they’ instead of ‘she’, be _different_. We were born different anyway. I mean, how can you expect someone who can summon wormholes to be _normal_?”

 

Voyd smiled at Violet, but Violet didn’t smile back. She was too busy thinking about how she’d just given Voyd the advice she really needed to give herself.

 

“I’ll take the suit to Edna to double check that the binding isn’t harmful.” Violet stood up and grabbed Voyd’s supersuit. “When she assures me it’s not, I’ll leave. I can bring it back tomorrow.”

 

\---

 

“It’s not harmful,” Edna said before Violet even finished her question. “Her request was a strange one, I admit, but I made sure it would not harm her. I don’t know what sort of doctors they have at that hospital, but my suit is _not_ hurting her…” Edna slowed to a stop as she saw Violet’s face, “but you already knew that, didn’t you?”

 

Violet nodded. “The doctor wouldn’t tell me much except he wanted the binding in the chest removed, but I know you’re very careful with every aspect of every design in all of your suits, so it didn’t make sense why that would need fixed.”

 

Edna scoffed. “ _Doctors_. Always thinking they know everything when really they just know everything they’re allowed to be taught.” Edna handed Voyd’s supersuit back to Violet.

 

“Allowed to be taught?” Violet questioned.

 

Edna waved the question aside, clearly avoiding elaborating on it to Violet. “You may leave now. Tell your brother I said hi.”

 

“Dash?” Violet asked. She was fairly certain Edna had only met Dash once or twice.

 

“No, the other one.”

 

Jack Jack. Of course. Why wouldn’t Edna say hi to the baby and none of the rest of her family? “Um, okay. But you didn’t answer my question.”

 

“Didn’t I?” Edna glanced back at Violet, and Violet was pretty sure she was feigning innocence. “No, I’m fairly certain I did.”

 

“What did you mean by what doctors are ‘allowed to be taught’?” Violet asked again.

 

Edna froze, but it wasn’t the sort of freezing a person did when they had been caught off guard in a bad way. It looked more like Violet had piqued Edna’s interest. “There are many things about this world that science cannot explain. Many feelings. Take all of you Supers for example, science can’t explain how or why you received powers, and yet your powers are accepted by the masses. Because your powers can be seen. Feelings, on the other hand, cannot be seen, and so they remain even more mysterious. And because they go unseen, they can be written off as false. People with certain feelings can be written off as… sick or crazy.”

 

“Like Voyd?” Violet asked before she could stop herself.

 

“Perhaps.” Edna suddenly looked disinterested in the conversation. “Tell your friend the suit has been fixed. If they have any question, they can feel free to contact me.”

 

Violet was too stunned by the sudden turn of events to realize Edna had referred to Voyd as ‘they’.

 

\---

 

After Violet returned Voyd’s supersuit, it was two weeks before she saw Voyd again, once again on the rooftop. Their ankle wasn’t wrapped anymore, meaning the sprain must have healed, but they still had a cast on their arm. Because of the cast, the left sleeve of their supersuit was rolled up past their elbow.

 

“Thanks for taking my suit to Edna.” Voyd sat down next to Violet.

 

“No problem.” Violet almost stopped herself from saying anything else, but she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. “Can I talk to you about something?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Violet took a deep breath. There was no going back now. “So, I sort of have this boyfriend, but, um…” Violet sighed and shrugged. “I don’t think it feels right. I… I thought I had a crush on him, but I don’t think I really ever did. I think it was just the _idea_ of having a crush that I liked, since all of my friends had crushes, so I just picked the most tolerable guy in school and decided I liked him. But it doesn’t feel like everyone says it should feel when I’m with him.”

 

Voyd was quiet for a moment, which worried Violet. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe she should have just kept her feelings to herself and continued to pretend she liked Tony in the way she was supposed to. She had spent the first fourteen years of her life hiding her powers, so how hard could faking infatuation for a couple more months be? She should probably just tell Voyd to forget she’d ever said anything and disappear into the night, literally.

 

“I’m… not entirely sure I understand,” Voyd finally said. “What do you mean by how ‘everyone says you should feel’?”

 

Violet breathed out. That was a much better response than she’d been expecting. Curiosity was completely fine, after all, that was how she’d reacted when Voyd had opened up about not feeling like a girl. It was a blatant rebuttal she had been worried about. “Well…” Violet paused to think for a moment. How could she put what she was feeling (or rather, what she _wasn’t_ feeling) into words? “People always talk about there being a spark when you like someone. It’s always supposed to be a feeling that runs deeper than friendship. But I don’t feel either of those. I guess I really just wanted to be Tony’s friend. And I guess, I’m fine with the holding hands and the hugging parts, but kissing?” Violet wrinkled her nose. “No thanks. And it just gets worse after that.”

 

Voyd nodded slowly, as if still trying to wrap their mind around what all Violet had told them. “Is it just specifically Tony that you don’t want to kiss?”

 

Violet shook her head. “I’ve never really understood the concept of kissing. I mean, how does touching your mouth to another person’s indicate love? Aren’t there better ways of showing someone you care about them?”

 

“I mean, I guess it does sound kind of strange when you put it like that.” Voyd laughed quietly. “What about…” Voyd lowered her voice, “with girls? Do you feel the same?”

 

Violet was a bit caught off guard by the question. She’d considered it briefly, but shut that idea down. Not only was it _highly_ frowned upon, but she was pretty sure she wouldn’t be any more open to kissing a girl than she was kissing a boy, even if it were viewed as socially acceptable. But the fact that Voyd had thought about that possibility too meant that maybe it wasn’t so far of a stretch. Violet thought about it again. Would she kiss a girl? It sounded slightly more tolerable, but maybe that was just because she found girls more tolerable than boys in general. “I’m not into girls either,” Violet said decisively. “Which absolutely doesn’t make sense. How can I not like boys and also not like girls?”

 

Voyd shrugged. “I think it makes sense. You’re not into boys and you’re not into girls, so maybe you just aren’t into anyone. I mean, it’s _possible_ you just haven’t met the right person yet, but you’re fifteen. If you haven’t had a real crush yet, then it’s possible you just don’t like people in that way. That’s cool. I have an aunt who never married, and she’s probably one of the greatest people I know. She told me she ‘just never found the right man’, but it could be that she’s like you.”

 

Violet took a moment to take in all that Voyd had just told her. It could be that there were other people who felt the same way about romance that she did? It was possible that she wasn't alone? But there was still something that was bothering her...

 

“When did you have your first crush?” Violet asked. Maybe if Voyd had been sixteen or seventeen when she first got a crush on someone, Violet still had a chance. Maybe the ‘right person’ was still out there.

 

Voyd’s expression turned dark for a moment before their face became completely emotionless. Violet suddenly wished she hadn’t asked about their first crush.

 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have--”

 

“It’s fine,” Voyd assured her, but Voyd did not sound very fine. “I was twelve. It… didn’t really end well.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Violet’s voice came out as a whisper.

 

“It’s not your fault. I just… didn’t quite hide it well enough and people began to speculate.”

 

“Speculate?” There were thousands of stories of people’s crushes being exposed, but the way Voyd had phrased it made it sound different than the stories. There must have been something Violet was missing. Speculating someone having a crush was one thing, but the tone of Voyd’s voice made it sound worse than just that.

 

Voyd looked down at their hands. “My first crush was on a girl,” they said, their voice barely audible. Violet understood why that crush being revealed could have been disastrous.

 

“Oh,” Violet replied quietly. She wasn’t entirely sure what else to say. She didn’t care if Voyd’s first crush had been on a girl, but she knew most people would treat them completely differently if they knew. “That… kinda sucks. I mean, ‘cause of how society views that and all.”

 

“Yeah,” Voyd agreed. “It kinda does. I got over her, though. And I’m much better at hiding crushes now.” Violet didn’t ask if Voyd’s crushes had all been on girls or if there had been some boys too. She didn’t want to come across as too nosy.

 

“Do you think I should break up with Tony?” Violet changed the conversation topic. “I mean, I don’t really want to lead him on when I know I don't feel the way I’m supposed to feel about him. But there’s a part of me that’s saying I just need to give it a little longer and then maybe I’ll feel that spark.”

 

“I personally would break up with him,” Voyd answered, “but really, that’s your decision to make. If you think there might still be a chance that you like him in that way, then go for it. But if deep down, you know that’s not going to happen… It might be best for both of you if you end things earlier rather than later.”

 

Violet didn’t respond right away. She mulled over Voyd’s words for several minutes, playing possible scenarios with Tony in her head. She wanted to believe they still had a chance but she had a strange feeling she knew they didn’t, and it wasn’t fair to Tony to lead him on. He was a nice boy, and it wasn’t like it was his fault Violet wasn’t attracted to him in the ‘right’ way. Finally, she thanked Voyd quietly before disappearing and making her way back home.

 

\---

 

One month later, Voyd was back in action as a Super. One of the many perks of being a Super was that you generally healed faster. So Voyd’s broken wrist that should have taken over two months to completely heal was fine in a month and a half.

 

In the month since she’d last spoken to Voyd, Violet had ended things with Tony, much to the dismay of her family. She tried her best to avoid all of their questions concerning Tony because that was a whole lot easier than explaining how she was pretty much against the idea of being in another relationship ever. Maybe she’d tell them one day. Maybe one day, the world would be a bit more accepting of people like her and Voyd.

 

Maybe one day, they could both be free to be themselves.

**Author's Note:**

> Before you go off on me for not using they/them pronouns for Voyd until halfway through, this was written in Violet's point of view. I started using they/them pronouns for Voyd once Violet knew that's what they wanted. It wouldn't make sense for Violet to know Voyd preferred they/them pronouns until they told her.


End file.
